Stop Taking Me For Granted
By Jeff Scott
Have you ever had those words said to you? Ouch! It is possibly true, but hurtful none the less.
It's usually during an argument. Of course it's a subjective point of view, but usually not without some validity. It sounds like you don't care. But it is sometimes quite difficult to tell when it's happening. Often the only time you know you have taken someone or something for granted, is when something dramatic happens in your life.
The reason why we do this is because it has become part of our daily routine and we are virtually operating on autopilot. And if this includes how you treat your partner, then you could be swimming in dangerous waters.
But really, routines are not always bad things. We have so many things in our daily life that if we were to think of all of them, we wouldn't get anything done. If we had to think every time we cleaned our teeth or got showered or got dressed, life would become a nightmare.
Imagine having to think how to drive our car when we go to work. Going through what has to be done before we start the engine, checking where the indicators are, how to turn on the lights.
It would be just like the first time we ever got in the car and were shown how to do all these things by the instructor.
So routines cannot be avoided if we wish to run our daily life efficiently. But again, taking things for granted can rob your life of so much pleasure and excitement.
We all get used to the sun coming up in the morning. It's not a big deal, or so we think. It happens every day and we never give it a thought. We get used to the trees and flowers, to the fresh air we breathe, the change of the seasons, the sound of birds singing. But just imagine for a moment if were deprived of any of these routine happenings. Imagine if you couldn't hear the birds sing, because you were deaf or locked away in some stinking jail in the middle of a wilderness where there are no birds even if you were set free.
And what about the change of seasons? Do you complain when the summer ends and the autumn days bring cooler weather. Just think, if you lived in the middle of the Sahara desert you wouldn't be aware of the time of year because every day would bring unremitting sunshine and there would be no plants or trees coming into blossom or losing their leaves.
There are thousands of aspects to your life that you probably have never given a second thought to for many years.
So stop now and think about your life. Do a mental exercise and go through all the different aspects like, your health, your family, your employment, your friends, your home, your possessions, your country. Think what it would be like if you didn't have them. Realise how lucky you are.
The author is a retired business man who is passing on the experiences of life he has gained over many years. See his new site at Leather Car Seats and also Chicco Car Seats.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jeff_Scott
Showing posts with label Self Improvement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self Improvement. Show all posts
Motivated to Action
By Bill Mansell
Action! It's the most powerful word in the English language. Planning is important; positive belief is critical; preparation makes a difference. But, without the follow-through principle of action, nothing happens -- nothing!!
This concept is simple, but sometimes, not so easy to implement. Have you ever had a time in your life when you just couldn't get motivated? You knew what you wanted to do, you had the desire, but you just couldn't motivate yourself to take the first step. When your get-up-and-go has gone and you find it difficult to get motivated to take action, consider this -- you may be going about it all wrong.
Experts in the field of human motivation tell us that instead of waiting until we are motivated to take action, we need to reverse the process and take action to get motivated.
Nothing makes us feel enthusiastic like acting enthusiastic. Nothing inspires creativity like getting started on a new project. Nothing gives us the energy to move ahead like taking that first step, and then the next. Your emotions take their clues from your actions, not the other way around.
Many lack motivation because of fear: fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of too much success, fear of what others might think, fear, fear, fear. It can leave us paralyzed and ineffective. What is the cure for fear? ACTION! If you are afraid of rejection, contact more people. If you fear ridicule, make your presentation dynamic and audacious. If you worry about failure, take action that will move you toward success. The truth is, most of the things we worry about never come to pass. So why worry? Instead, take decisive action to cure your worry and overcome fear!
So, next time you just don't feel like it, do it anyway. Few things are as bad as we imagine they will be if we will simply jump in with both feet, pretending that we can't wait to get started. Pretty soon you will feel like it. Shakespeare said it like this, "assume a virtue if you have it not." In other words, if you want to be happy, try acting happy. If you need energy, act as if you have barrels full! If you want to feel motivated, take motivated action. Ham it up! Make it fun. Without a doubt, your feelings will follow your actions and pretty soon your actions will help you feel truly motivated. Try it!
Dealing With Grief Over A Departed Pet
Dealing With Grief Over A Departed Pet
Author: hunny01
The loss of a beloved pet can be as devastating as losing a family member. Afterall, pets can even be more lovingly unconditional than people. If only the amount of love showered on our pets can be equal to the amount of years added to its life, our pets would live as long as we want them too. But as everything else that has a beginning, so too, do they have an ending. Indeed the paradox of loss is at constant play with life. we are certain that everything ends but we are uncertain when it ends. we are certain how it will make us feel, but uncertain at how to deal with what we may feel.
So how does a man say goodbye to a beloved pet, companion and best friend who has given him its full attention, unconditional love and loyalty and even aid in daily living i.e. blind people with their guide dogs and policemen with their canine friends, among others And once goodbyes have been said, how does man cope with the grief and loss after
Needless to say, conditioning of the human mind even before a bond has been created between man and beast is essential and must be established. Man, the rational one in the friendship, and usually the bereaved survivor of the two friends, must keep in mind always that nothing survives forever, not even the ideal companionship of a man and an animal. Once the proper conditioning of the mind has been set, it is easier for man to face the reality of a future separation with his beloved pet.
However, mental conditioning can only do so much when no emotional bonds have been created yet once man begins to establish an emotional bond with his pet, no amount of conditioning can ever fully guarantee an easy way in dealing with a possible separation or loss.
Man deals with loss in his own unique way. There is no definite formula for dealing with the grief over the loss of a pet. Otherwise, if there is, indeed, a formula, it would come out something as absurd as asking a doctor to compose a music for his dead pet, or asking a painter to write a book dedicated to his pet. In a word, what works for some may not necessarily work for others. What is constant with any variable, however, is the importance of facing the pain. Running away from the reality and pain of loss never helps. Though running away may momentarily desensitize the first few pangs of pain, the next few ones that will eventually turn up at times when it is least expected will only become twice or thrice as painful than the first.
Acknowledging the pain, however, helps develop an eventual acceptance over the loss of your pet, and in the long run, even peace knowing that your beloved pet may be in a place far happier than the one you can ever offer it. By acknowledging your pain, you are allowing yourself to grieve over lost times with your pet. In grieving there is remembrance. What better way to give tribute to your beloved pet and what better way to keep your pet alive in your heart forever than remembering all the times spent together
Eventually, you will find that healthy remembrance and acceptance of the pain is not only therapeutic but offers a way that will lead you to acceptance over the loss itself as well.
The next step of dealing with grief over the loss of a pet is through creative expression. A healthy way of dealing with the death of a pet, or any other loss for that matter, is to discover your own potential for selfrelease and catharsis. Try to experiment, through hobbies, sports and interest, on activities that will keep your mind focused on being productive and creative. In all activities, always be conscious that you are channeling your grief and loss positively through the activities you are engaged in. Eventually, you will only realize that your pain has lessened and diminished over time.
The perils of not consciously keeping to mind the motivation for the activity which is the pain of loss may only be equivalent to not accepting and acknowledging your pain and once you find yourself unguardedly remembering your dead friend, your pet, the pain may only become twice as hurtful. However, if you keep in mind the purpose for your constructive activity, you are actually, creatively and productively living with your pain and loss. For artists, it would even help you include, as your creations theme, your departed pet. Talk about your pet. Share photos of your pet. Remember your pet. Walk to where you often have your walks. The possibilities of calling to mind the joy that your pet has given you is endless.
Indeed, there is no easy way to forgetting the pain of losing a beloved pet. But perhaps, the paradox there is not to forget the pain, but instead, to live with the pain. Once this pain is channeled creatively and productively, you will find out that your beloved and precious pet has done more for you than you ever thought of in its life and even in its death.
source: http://www.sooperarticles.com/self-improvement-articles/dealing-grief-over-departed-pet-11011.html
Author: hunny01
The loss of a beloved pet can be as devastating as losing a family member. Afterall, pets can even be more lovingly unconditional than people. If only the amount of love showered on our pets can be equal to the amount of years added to its life, our pets would live as long as we want them too. But as everything else that has a beginning, so too, do they have an ending. Indeed the paradox of loss is at constant play with life. we are certain that everything ends but we are uncertain when it ends. we are certain how it will make us feel, but uncertain at how to deal with what we may feel.
So how does a man say goodbye to a beloved pet, companion and best friend who has given him its full attention, unconditional love and loyalty and even aid in daily living i.e. blind people with their guide dogs and policemen with their canine friends, among others And once goodbyes have been said, how does man cope with the grief and loss after
Needless to say, conditioning of the human mind even before a bond has been created between man and beast is essential and must be established. Man, the rational one in the friendship, and usually the bereaved survivor of the two friends, must keep in mind always that nothing survives forever, not even the ideal companionship of a man and an animal. Once the proper conditioning of the mind has been set, it is easier for man to face the reality of a future separation with his beloved pet.
However, mental conditioning can only do so much when no emotional bonds have been created yet once man begins to establish an emotional bond with his pet, no amount of conditioning can ever fully guarantee an easy way in dealing with a possible separation or loss.
Man deals with loss in his own unique way. There is no definite formula for dealing with the grief over the loss of a pet. Otherwise, if there is, indeed, a formula, it would come out something as absurd as asking a doctor to compose a music for his dead pet, or asking a painter to write a book dedicated to his pet. In a word, what works for some may not necessarily work for others. What is constant with any variable, however, is the importance of facing the pain. Running away from the reality and pain of loss never helps. Though running away may momentarily desensitize the first few pangs of pain, the next few ones that will eventually turn up at times when it is least expected will only become twice or thrice as painful than the first.
Acknowledging the pain, however, helps develop an eventual acceptance over the loss of your pet, and in the long run, even peace knowing that your beloved pet may be in a place far happier than the one you can ever offer it. By acknowledging your pain, you are allowing yourself to grieve over lost times with your pet. In grieving there is remembrance. What better way to give tribute to your beloved pet and what better way to keep your pet alive in your heart forever than remembering all the times spent together
Eventually, you will find that healthy remembrance and acceptance of the pain is not only therapeutic but offers a way that will lead you to acceptance over the loss itself as well.
The next step of dealing with grief over the loss of a pet is through creative expression. A healthy way of dealing with the death of a pet, or any other loss for that matter, is to discover your own potential for selfrelease and catharsis. Try to experiment, through hobbies, sports and interest, on activities that will keep your mind focused on being productive and creative. In all activities, always be conscious that you are channeling your grief and loss positively through the activities you are engaged in. Eventually, you will only realize that your pain has lessened and diminished over time.
The perils of not consciously keeping to mind the motivation for the activity which is the pain of loss may only be equivalent to not accepting and acknowledging your pain and once you find yourself unguardedly remembering your dead friend, your pet, the pain may only become twice as hurtful. However, if you keep in mind the purpose for your constructive activity, you are actually, creatively and productively living with your pain and loss. For artists, it would even help you include, as your creations theme, your departed pet. Talk about your pet. Share photos of your pet. Remember your pet. Walk to where you often have your walks. The possibilities of calling to mind the joy that your pet has given you is endless.
Indeed, there is no easy way to forgetting the pain of losing a beloved pet. But perhaps, the paradox there is not to forget the pain, but instead, to live with the pain. Once this pain is channeled creatively and productively, you will find out that your beloved and precious pet has done more for you than you ever thought of in its life and even in its death.
source: http://www.sooperarticles.com/self-improvement-articles/dealing-grief-over-departed-pet-11011.html
4 Key Tips for De-Stressing the Mind
4 Key Tips for De-Stressing the Mind
By Aila Accad
The mind is a wonderful tool for observation, conceptualization, processing information, and in short - thinking. However, when the tool becomes the master, stress is inevitable.
Like a computer, your mind holds lots of data and has a program to organize that data. Each mind programs the input it receives through unique perceptions and interpretations developed in early childhood. This childhood template is your mind's operating system until you choose to change it.
De-stressing involves becoming aware of and updating these childhood beliefs.
Two core sets of beliefs - Who you think you are (self-concept) and who you think you 'should' be (self-ideal) evolve from what we hear, see, and experience as children. You do not knowingly choose the self-images, which are the foundation for self-esteem (the value for yourself) and self-determination (the power to make free choices). Failing to achieve this unrealistic self-ideal is inevitable and believing you have limited power to choose freely creates DISTRESS.
The basic categories of response to distress are fight, flight, and freeze.
Is your tendency to run, hide, and internalize stress in isolation, passivity or depression? Is it to lash out, attack and externalize stress in aggression, domination or anxiety? Or, do you become immobilized and stuck? Either way, the core issues and solutions are the same.
The tips that follow are simple, logical, and doable. However, implementation may be challenging.
Tip # 1: Sort
The key to mental de-stressing is to recognize the areas of life in which you do or do not have control. Get a piece of paper and pencil and take note of the thoughts that arise as I explain this simple sorting technique. These notes will be important when we get to Tip # 3. You have NO control of anything outside yourself. You have TOTAL control of everything inside yourself. This does not seem earth shattering until you look at daily reactions.
If you are like most people, you blame everything outside of you for your stress and direct most of your precious time and energy into fruitless efforts to control the uncontrollable. A short list of uncontrollables includes time, nature, and other people.
You reduce your stress when you put your time and energy into the one area where it will pay off, where you have total control and power to direct your life - in YOU. In knowing how you think and feel, and making choices about what is important to you.
Sorting what you can and cannot control helps you see clearly where to place your attention. Although the conditioned mind (ego) does not accept change easily, it does like structure.
Tip # 2: Focus
Focus your attention on the power to make choices. You can only make choices in the present moment.
You can make informed choices by learning from the past. Today's choices influence the future. Choosing consciously what you do in this moment is the most powerful thing you can do.
There is a finite amount of time in a day. You control what you do with it. It is essential to prioritize what is most important to you. Then, it is easier to see what must either be delegated or dropped from the 'to do' list.
Life becomes much simpler, less stressful, and more productive when you are realistic about what you can do and take responsibility for acting on that priority in the present moment. Focus on being aware of your choices today and notice how outcomes change.
You are the only person who has control of your choices. Choosing not to take action is also a choice. You have the power to influence the direction and satisfaction of your future. You also influence - not control - everyone around you by the choices you make. Making a difference in the world begins within you. A change in any part of the whole changes the whole.
Tip # 3: Observe
What reactions is your mind having to this information? Fight - resistance, looking for flaws in the logic. Or, flight - distraction, not wanting to continue reading. The mind resists changing core beliefs. Observe its resistance.
In childhood, your mind formed ideas about how to be safe in the world. The conditioned mind (ego) is all about safety and survival. It gets scared when you decide not to play your life by the old "safe" rules.
Although the survival functions of the brain are important, you are no longer a vulnerable infant or child. Fight and flight are limited strategies for managing adult life and relationships. Observe these mental directives. What are the words your mind uses to keep you tied to old rules? What is the tone of voice? Whose voice does it sound like? Keep a journal of your observations. It can give you clues to the pattern that still informs your choices today.
You are not your thoughts. Your mind is designed to support your decision-making, not control it. While the original unconscious program was useful in keeping you safe as a child, you must consciously update that program so it can serve you in being a powerful, responsible adult.
Tip # 4: Stop, Drop & Replace
Take decisive action to stop the inner critic. Whenever you hear that inner voice spouting its shoulds, shouldn'ts, or judgments (negative or positive), take action to stop the thought. Each inner voice is unique. If yours is aggressive or hostile, you will want to stop it with some force. You can think or say aloud "Stop!" or use more colorful language.
Drop the image of who you think you 'should' be. This is a composite made up by various people, none of whom lives your unique life. A helpful strategy when you hear the words 'should' or 'should not' is to ask the question: "Who made that up?" Realize that the laws of nature are few. A human being made everything else up. Some beliefs are useful for living comfortably in society. Choose the ones you want to keep and let the rest go.
Replace the old rules with supportive ones. For example, "If you say what you really think; people won't like you," - counter with, "By speaking my truth, others can connect with me and connect with their truth."
Conditioning and images are not the truth about who you are or 'should' be. They are unconscious programs running your precious life as if you were still a child. The mind, like a computer, uses an operating system. Your life is continuously changing. How will your computer serve you if you never update the operating system to keep up with changing technology or delete old files to clear space for new information? The mind requires continuous monitoring and updating in order to serve you in consciously choosing the life you want.
These four strategies for mental de-stressing will change your perspective and give you control over your choices. Sort what you can control from what you cannot control, focus on what you can control, observe your mind's discomfort with staying present in the moment, stop - drop - and replace the negative self criticism and judgment based in past conditioning.
Final note: Getting outside supportive coaching or counseling to carry out these steps may be helpful and well worth the time and cost for a stress free life!
www.stressbustersbook.com Sign up for De-Stress Tips & News at www.ailaspeaks.com and receive the “Ten Instant Stress Busters” e-book..
source:http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/4_key_tips_for_destressing_the_mind.html
By Aila Accad
The mind is a wonderful tool for observation, conceptualization, processing information, and in short - thinking. However, when the tool becomes the master, stress is inevitable.
Like a computer, your mind holds lots of data and has a program to organize that data. Each mind programs the input it receives through unique perceptions and interpretations developed in early childhood. This childhood template is your mind's operating system until you choose to change it.
De-stressing involves becoming aware of and updating these childhood beliefs.
Two core sets of beliefs - Who you think you are (self-concept) and who you think you 'should' be (self-ideal) evolve from what we hear, see, and experience as children. You do not knowingly choose the self-images, which are the foundation for self-esteem (the value for yourself) and self-determination (the power to make free choices). Failing to achieve this unrealistic self-ideal is inevitable and believing you have limited power to choose freely creates DISTRESS.
The basic categories of response to distress are fight, flight, and freeze.
Is your tendency to run, hide, and internalize stress in isolation, passivity or depression? Is it to lash out, attack and externalize stress in aggression, domination or anxiety? Or, do you become immobilized and stuck? Either way, the core issues and solutions are the same.
The tips that follow are simple, logical, and doable. However, implementation may be challenging.
Tip # 1: Sort
The key to mental de-stressing is to recognize the areas of life in which you do or do not have control. Get a piece of paper and pencil and take note of the thoughts that arise as I explain this simple sorting technique. These notes will be important when we get to Tip # 3. You have NO control of anything outside yourself. You have TOTAL control of everything inside yourself. This does not seem earth shattering until you look at daily reactions.
If you are like most people, you blame everything outside of you for your stress and direct most of your precious time and energy into fruitless efforts to control the uncontrollable. A short list of uncontrollables includes time, nature, and other people.
You reduce your stress when you put your time and energy into the one area where it will pay off, where you have total control and power to direct your life - in YOU. In knowing how you think and feel, and making choices about what is important to you.
Sorting what you can and cannot control helps you see clearly where to place your attention. Although the conditioned mind (ego) does not accept change easily, it does like structure.
Tip # 2: Focus
Focus your attention on the power to make choices. You can only make choices in the present moment.
You can make informed choices by learning from the past. Today's choices influence the future. Choosing consciously what you do in this moment is the most powerful thing you can do.
There is a finite amount of time in a day. You control what you do with it. It is essential to prioritize what is most important to you. Then, it is easier to see what must either be delegated or dropped from the 'to do' list.
Life becomes much simpler, less stressful, and more productive when you are realistic about what you can do and take responsibility for acting on that priority in the present moment. Focus on being aware of your choices today and notice how outcomes change.
You are the only person who has control of your choices. Choosing not to take action is also a choice. You have the power to influence the direction and satisfaction of your future. You also influence - not control - everyone around you by the choices you make. Making a difference in the world begins within you. A change in any part of the whole changes the whole.
Tip # 3: Observe
What reactions is your mind having to this information? Fight - resistance, looking for flaws in the logic. Or, flight - distraction, not wanting to continue reading. The mind resists changing core beliefs. Observe its resistance.
In childhood, your mind formed ideas about how to be safe in the world. The conditioned mind (ego) is all about safety and survival. It gets scared when you decide not to play your life by the old "safe" rules.
Although the survival functions of the brain are important, you are no longer a vulnerable infant or child. Fight and flight are limited strategies for managing adult life and relationships. Observe these mental directives. What are the words your mind uses to keep you tied to old rules? What is the tone of voice? Whose voice does it sound like? Keep a journal of your observations. It can give you clues to the pattern that still informs your choices today.
You are not your thoughts. Your mind is designed to support your decision-making, not control it. While the original unconscious program was useful in keeping you safe as a child, you must consciously update that program so it can serve you in being a powerful, responsible adult.
Tip # 4: Stop, Drop & Replace
Take decisive action to stop the inner critic. Whenever you hear that inner voice spouting its shoulds, shouldn'ts, or judgments (negative or positive), take action to stop the thought. Each inner voice is unique. If yours is aggressive or hostile, you will want to stop it with some force. You can think or say aloud "Stop!" or use more colorful language.
Drop the image of who you think you 'should' be. This is a composite made up by various people, none of whom lives your unique life. A helpful strategy when you hear the words 'should' or 'should not' is to ask the question: "Who made that up?" Realize that the laws of nature are few. A human being made everything else up. Some beliefs are useful for living comfortably in society. Choose the ones you want to keep and let the rest go.
Replace the old rules with supportive ones. For example, "If you say what you really think; people won't like you," - counter with, "By speaking my truth, others can connect with me and connect with their truth."
Conditioning and images are not the truth about who you are or 'should' be. They are unconscious programs running your precious life as if you were still a child. The mind, like a computer, uses an operating system. Your life is continuously changing. How will your computer serve you if you never update the operating system to keep up with changing technology or delete old files to clear space for new information? The mind requires continuous monitoring and updating in order to serve you in consciously choosing the life you want.
These four strategies for mental de-stressing will change your perspective and give you control over your choices. Sort what you can control from what you cannot control, focus on what you can control, observe your mind's discomfort with staying present in the moment, stop - drop - and replace the negative self criticism and judgment based in past conditioning.
Final note: Getting outside supportive coaching or counseling to carry out these steps may be helpful and well worth the time and cost for a stress free life!
About the Author:
Aila Accad, RN, MSN ‘Your Stress-Buster Coach’ is an award-winning speaker, best-selling author and transformation coach who inspires and supports people to free their lives from stress and restore inner power. Her Amazon Best-Seller “34 Instant Stress-Busters, Quick tips to de-stress fast with no extra time or money” is available now with $1200 in free self-growth downloadable gifts atwww.stressbustersbook.com Sign up for De-Stress Tips & News at www.ailaspeaks.com and receive the “Ten Instant Stress Busters” e-book..
source:http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/4_key_tips_for_destressing_the_mind.html
14 Sleep Tips: Overcoming Insomnia
by Kellen Von Houser
Do you stay awake all night and sleep all day? Do you lie around all the time but never get rested? Do you have trouble getting to sleep? Are you able to get to sleep, but wake up frequently throughout the night? Do you believe you are sleeping long enough, but you still wake up tired?
We are continually stressed and running short on time and it would seem logical that after running around all day we would have no trouble getting to sleep at night. But that is not the case. Many of us are finding it increasingly difficult to get to sleep at night. To further complicate matters, we tend to depend upon caffeine, cigarettes and sugar as a substitute for what only a good night's sleep can provide. Sleep patterns, thinking processes and mood are intimately related. Sleep deprivation makes us irritable, unable to think clearly and depressed. Many of us become so desperate to get a good night's sleep that we resort to medications, but are they really necessary? Perhaps the best medicine of all is to start really listening to your body instead of working against it.
How to Establish Good Sleep Patterns:
1. Establish a sleep schedule. Calculate a bedtime that will allow you to get this many hours and wake up at a reasonable hour (for example, when you need to get ready for work). Determine the number of hours you need to feel rested. Don't worry if you don't fit into the "norm" of eight hours. A good guideline to start with is how many hours you sleep when you "sleep in" on the weekends. The first day, wake yourself at the time you would like to be your usual waking time, whether you are rested or not.
2. Exercise. With many of us working in offices all day, we never actually do enough physical labor to tire our bodies so they can get a good sound night’s sleep. A good hard work out will make you tired a few hours later. Admittedly, most people find it easier to fit a workout into their morning schedule and be consistent about it. But if you can manage to workout a few hours before bedtime, it may help “wear you out” and make you tired. Weight lifting and swimming, or a really tough cardio workout can be great for inducing sleepiness afterwards. If you belong to a gym, indulge in a few minutes of sauna time after your workout. This will warm up and relax your muscles and further relax you and prepare you to rest.
3. Establish a bedtime ritual. A couple of hours before bedtime begin to allow you to wind down. A regular evening ritual can help you relax and will signal your body that it's time to rest. (By the way, this works great with small children too.)
4. Avoid naps. Do not take a nap during the day, no matter how tired you get. This only makes it harder to get a good night’s sleep at night. It may also offset your nightly routine and sleep schedule since you won’t get tired until much later.
5. Avoid caffeine. Limit your intake of caffeine. Do not consume any caffeine after mid-afternoon. Its effects can take hours to wear off. You will eventually find that you are getting enough rest and don't need an extra boost in the morning to wake up.
6. Try natural sleep aids. Melatonin supplements taken near bedtime help the body fall asleep. Melatonin is a naturally occurring hormone associated with the sleep cycle. Your body starts to produce it when the sun goes down to signal the system that it’s time to sleep. As we age we produce less and less melatonin. Melatonin supplements work best if you take them about 30 minutes before you want to go to sleep, then lie down in a dark room to replicate the natural processes. If you continue to move around in a lighted room they will not be as effective. Melatonin can be purchased rather inexpensively over the counter at most pharmacies.
Kava Kava, Valerian or chamomile tea produce calming effects. A hot bath or a massage is great for warming and relaxing the muscles. This can be particularly helpful for someone who can’t sleep due to stress or anxiety.
7. Avoid sleeping pills. Avoid artificial sleep medications, tranquilizers, or alcohol. Although you may fall asleep, your sleep will not be gentle and natural. You will feel groggy in the morning. Many of these aids produce only light sleep, not the deep, RAM sleep that we need in order for our bodies to repair themselves and to feel rested in the morning. Most tranquilizers and alcohol have a tolerance effect – it takes more and more of the chemical to get the same effect.
8. Get up. If you are unable to get to sleep, get up and do something else until you become tired. Lying in the bed tossing and turning just frustrates you further and reinforces that the bed is for tossing and turning instead of sleeping. If you are troubled by racing thoughts that just won't stop, get up and do something to keep you occupied until the thoughts subside. They'll pass much more quickly if you don't lie in bed worrying about worrying, or worrying about not getting enough sleep.
9. Only use the bedroom for sleep. Try to do other activities in another area of the house so your body learns that the bed is for sleeping and nothing else.
10. Practice yoga, meditation and other quiet practices. Yoga not only calms the mind, but exercises the body so both are ready for a good night's sleep. Meditation also quiets the mind and slows it down, preparing it for sleep.
11. Try to sleep with the sun. When the sun goes down, so should you. When the sun comes up, so should you. Read #6 above more information about Melatonin production. Your body was made to rise and sleep with the movement of the sun. If you are staying out all night then sleeping until noon to compensate, this may be disturbing nature's sleep rhythms. (This is why they pay extra for working the graveyard shift. They know how hard it is on you.) This is also another reason to maintain the same sleep pattern on the weekends.
12. Use sound. Sounds strongly affect mood. Soothing music or natural sounds of rain or rhythmic ocean waves can quiet your mind and signal to your body that it is time to sleep. White noise can also be used to drown out street noises, the neighbors, the dripping faucet and other distractions that can annoy or irritate your mind. You don't have to buy a white noise machine. Turning on a fan, vent or other humming noise can sometimes do the trick.
13. Make sure the bedroom is dark. Use draperies or curtains which darken the room. This further communicates to the body that melatonin production should increase in preparation for sleep.
14. Avoid graphic movies, television shows or video games just before going to bed. If nightmares are a problem, check what you are watching. Computer programmers have an acronym, GIGO, which means "Garbage In, Garbage Out". I once had a client who was experiencing nightmares every night. We eventually determined that she was watching horror flicks every night before bed. When the horror flicks stopped, so did the nightmares.
Tips:
1. Don't despair if you have to go sleepy for a couple of days to get back on track. For most people, these steps will work if followed faithfully.
2. Keep a regular schedule, even on weekends. If you do, every day will feel as glorious as "sleeping in" on the weekends.
3. If keeping a regular sleep schedule is not working for you, consult an expert for further assistance. Certain sleep disorders, such as sleep apnea, have been associated with depression.
source : http://www.intent.com/blog/2009/04/22/14-sleep-tips-overcoming-insomnia
Be A Team Player
By Bill Mansell
If you work in a group of two or more people, chances are you are considered by the management as a "team." The question is: do you consider yourself a team member? Are you really acting as a team? Or, do you, at times, think of the other people in your company as competition? After all, if one of them gets the contract, you might not. It's easy to see how some people adopt a defeating attitude and begin to sabotage their teammate's work, and, as a result, sabotage their own success as well.
Remember the oft-told example of two horses pulling a load. Two horses, pulling in unison, can pull more than three times the amount that each horse can pull separately. It's called the synergistic effect, and you can make it work for you and your company.
Vince Lobardi once said, "Individual commitment to a group effort -- that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work." Look for ways that you can contribute to the group efforts of your entire staff. Look for way that you can work together. Look for ways to help others in your company--above and beyond what you are expected to do. Don't be afraid to share ideas and techniques that work. Pretty soon, the effectiveness of the entire group will grow, boosting your personal success and profits along with those of your team and your company.
Be a team player! If you want to improve your own chances for success, look for ways to help fellow workers and bolster your entire team.
source : http://www.mindperk.com/resources/blogs/7/Be-a-Team-Player.html
source : http://www.mindperk.com/resources/blogs/7/Be-a-Team-Player.html
How to Keep Your Head in Times of Crisis
By Bill Mansell
Am I just crazy, or does it seem like we have more things to worry about today than ever before? All around us are reports that we are mired in a mortgage crisis, there is talk of bailout and recession, hurricanes and other natural disasters pound our communities, and gas prices are out of control. Presidential candidates, anxious to show themselves as the answer to everything, paint a dismal picture of our world, and then blame all the problems on their opponents. The stock market is experiencing turmoil so unprecedented that the Wall Street Journal called “the past 10 days the most dramatic in Wall Street’s 216-year history.” No wonder people are losing their heads.
Fortunately, things are not really as bad as they may appear. I don’t mean to minimize these situations that affect real people. But, with all of this focus on negative circumstances and events, it is easy to lose sight of all the good things that are going on in the world and in each of our own lives. Few of us can do anything to change the economy or the weather. So, why do we spend so much time and energy fretting about them? Whether you are worried about global challenges, or dealing with personal and family challenges that come to all of us, here are 5 steps to help you remain calm in times of crisis.
Stop, look and listen.
This is how I was taught to cross the street as a 5 year old. But it’s remarkably good advice for us as adults. When things get crazy, we need to stop, take a break, and step away from the situation long enough to be able to think about it from a clear perspective. Too often we react without thinking, we become upset without getting all of the facts, we panic when there is no need to panic. When tempted to act rashly, stop.
Get your information from reliable sources.
Without a doubt there is more information available today than ever in our history. Much of it is accurate and informative. But, with the easy access of internet sites, blogs, and online news groups, it is more and more common for information to be slanted, sensationalized, or outright false. Recently, the publisher of an investment newsletter picked up a story on the internet, which he republished in his newsletter. The article stated that United Airlines had filed for bankruptcy. Since the only date on the article was in the URL, he didn’t realize that the article was actually 6 years old! News of the bankruptcy flew across the internet causing United’s stock to drop from $12 a share to around $3 before someone actually checked with United and the truth was brought to light. Why get in a tizzy until we have checked and rechecked the information, from a variety of sources, then taken time to consider a response?
Be Prepared.
I happen to live right on top of a major earthquake fault line. This Friday at 6:00 pm, our community has planned a mock earthquake. 6 cannon blasts will signal the “disaster” and each community member will put their emergency plan into effect, as if a real earthquake had occurred. The drill will be calm, orderly and organized as everyone goes through the motions they have learned in training. Our hope is that because of this drill, in the event of a real emergency, despite the inevitable chaos, people will know what to do to get organized and to take care of their family and neighbors. Similarly, you need to anticipate difficult situations that might come up and try to prepare for them in advance. I’m not recommending that you focus on the negative. Good advice is to plan for the best, but prepare for the worst. If you have thought things through and prepared in advance, you will have earned the right to be calm when everyone else is in a panic.
Think Proactively.
No situation is ever as bad as it seems at first. A little creative thinking can often produce amazing solutions. How many times has what seemed to be a devastating challenge ended up becoming the catalyst for positive change? Challenges breed personal growth and innovative ideas. So, rather than worrying, get out a pencil and paper and start brainstorming. Use your logical mind to study it out and come up with a solution – then take proactive action.
Look for the Positive.
For every item of bad news, there is also good news to be found if we will just look for it. The truth is that we normally find what we are looking for. Make it a habit to concentrate on the good things that are happening around you.
Follow these ideas and you will be more calm in any crisis so that you can keep your head when everyone around you is losing theirs.
About Auther
Bill Mansell is president of MindPerk, Inc., the web's largest resource for self improvement and business training. We all need a boost, some timely training or just an encouraging word once in a while. These original self-improvement and business training articles are packed with useful information, stories, tips, and timeless lessons. A popular speaker, Bill helps companies and organizations inspire and motivate their team members to consistently achieve more. His contagious enthusiasm has helped people from all walks of life to reach and exceed their goals.
source : http://www.mindperk.com/resources/articles/62/1/202/How-to-Keep-Your-Head-in-Times-of-Crisis.html
source : http://www.mindperk.com/resources/articles/62/1/202/How-to-Keep-Your-Head-in-Times-of-Crisis.html
Meet the New YOU
By Bill Mansell
A wise comedian once joked, “wherever I go, I must take myself along – and that spoils everything!” If you woke up on January first this year, and realized, to your dismay, that you have taken the "old you" into the new year. I have good news: the "new you" is just around the corner, waiting to meet you. What is this person like, this "new you?" Thinner? More organized? Better educated? A great communicator? A more caring spouse, parent, or partner? The exciting thing is that you get to decide. Take a moment and think about it. If you could improve any area of your life right now, what would you change? If you were about to be introduced to the ideal "new you," what kind of person would you expect to meet? Write down 3 or 4 of the top attributes that you see in this new you.
Now for the all-important question. What are you going to do about it? If you say, “I sure wish I were that person.” Then you will never become that person. Because wishing and wanting are not enough. Listen to the message in this insightful poem by Richard G. Welch.
Decide to Do
The easiest thing, in the world of things,
Is to sit and wait, until somebody brings
Complete instructions on what to do,
And how to do it, and when, to you.
It’s easy then to go straight ahead
And follow orders, just do what they said.
If it comes out wrong, and your work is vain,
Why, that’s for somebody else to explain.
Yes, it’s easy to sidestep and pass the buck,
But, the person who does it is out of luck;
Since the big success always seeks the man,
Who can plan his work, and work his plan.
The power of the one whom the world consults
Is based on this: that he gets results.
If you’d follow in his footsteps, you yes you,
You must learn to decide, then decide to do.
When I was 37, I decided that I wanted to go back to college to get more education. Juggling a full-time career, family, church and community responsibilities were difficult enough without the additional time commitment of school. But it was something that I really wanted to do. I could see the person that I wanted to become and I knew this was an important step. So, I made the commitment and jumped in. At first it was a little strange, sitting in classrooms with other students in their early twenties (they all looked 14 to me). But, once I got started, and developed a regular routine, it wasn’t nearly as difficult as I had worried. In almost no time, I had completed my degree and was well on my way to becoming a new me.
I challenge you to get started today. Write down the things you want to change. Identify the resources, groups, books, or CDs that can help you. Write out your plan, commit to it, and then take action! Small steps, acted on each day, can effect major changes in your life. Soon, you will walk tall knowing that you have embraced the new you
source:http://www.mindperk.com/resources/articles/74/1/190/Meet-the-New-YOU.html
source:http://www.mindperk.com/resources/articles/74/1/190/Meet-the-New-YOU.html
10 Ways to Reduce Stress
By:Sharon Reid
Finding ways to reduce stress is important as most of us lead busy lives that tend to get busier as we get older. If we’re not careful this can lead to feeling overwhelmed and can cause physical and mental symptoms such as high blood pressure, nervousness, depression and so on.
Learning to deal with stress could save your life. Maybe some of these tips will help to lower the stress in your life.
1. Simplify Things The best way to do something is usually the simplest way. Don’t choose a longer, more complicated route when going the easier route will produce the same results. Making life less complicated will reduce your stress.
2. Exercise Getting the body moving is a good way to relieve stress. Doesn’t need to be complicated, just go for a brisk 20 minute walk. Do it regularly and you’ll maintain good physical health as well.
3. Meditation and Prayer Take the time to just be alone and self reflect. Sit in a quiet spot, let your mind relax and let the stress just drift away. If you find it easier said than done there are many good meditation products that you can listen to on your iPod.
4. Massage Getting a massage can relieve stress. All you have to do is lie on your back, and let someone else do the work for a change.
5. Sleep Assuming the stress is not so bad that it’s causing insomnia, sleep is one of the best ways to fight stress. Everything always seems worse when fighting exhaustion as well. If stress is causing insomnia you’ll have to reduce stress using other techniques and then start good sleeping habits.
6. Deep Breathing Taking deep, slow breaths helps relieve stress within the body. Just take a few quiet moments, take a couple of deep breaths and refocus.
7. Writing Start writing, don’t think - just write about what is stressing you. Because stress is mostly mental getting it off your mind and onto a page can be helpful.
8. Soothing Music Just listening to music with slow rhythms and relaxing sounds, can quickly put you into a more relaxed state of mind.
9. Friends Take time to be with your friends. Have a drink, have a laugh! Doing this tends to put the stress into its proper perspective.
10. Pets Is there anything more relaxing than patting and cuddling your dog, or cat? They listen, don’t judge, and ask for nothing in return. Studies have shown that people who have pets tend to live longer and are more independent than those who don’t.
My hope is that these 10 ways to reduce stress are helpful in keeping your stress under control. Keep doing them and your health, both physical and mental, will be better for it.
About Author
Sharon Reid is creating a self improvement website for those wanting to create abundance in their lives. Visit her website here http://personal-development-for-abundance.com/.
source:http://www.eslteachersboard.com/cgi-bin/motivation/index.pl?read=7190
Finding ways to reduce stress is important as most of us lead busy lives that tend to get busier as we get older. If we’re not careful this can lead to feeling overwhelmed and can cause physical and mental symptoms such as high blood pressure, nervousness, depression and so on.
Learning to deal with stress could save your life. Maybe some of these tips will help to lower the stress in your life.
My hope is that these 10 ways to reduce stress are helpful in keeping your stress under control. Keep doing them and your health, both physical and mental, will be better for it.
About Author
Sharon Reid is creating a self improvement website for those wanting to create abundance in their lives. Visit her website here http://personal-development-for-abundance.com/.
source:http://www.eslteachersboard.com/cgi-bin/motivation/index.pl?read=7190
Self-Esteem Boosters: Ten Ways To Love Yourself
By Michael Lee
You weren't born perfect - nobody is. But you can do something to make your life a lot better than what is experienced by the average individual. The people who are the happiest with their lives are those who can learn to love themselves just the way they are.
Here are some suggestions on how to place yourself up on that pedestal and laugh at negative energy.
Pay Yourself A Compliment
Give yourself a compliment at least once a day. It could be something like "I really liked the way I handled that situation," or "I love how my hair falls softly onto my face today". The compliment can be deep or superficial. Whatever it is, it should help keep your mood up, even if only slightly. Highlight the positive aspect of every situation you encounter. If you practice this often, you're on your way to liking yourself a whole lot better.
Make Yourself Over
Grab your closest friend and get all dolled up. Put on your best attire, dab on a little make-up and get your hair done (not necessarily by a professional), then grab a camera and snap fun and funny photos of each other. Once you've had the photos printed, discard those that make you look drab and keep only the shots were you looked your best. Whenever you feel down, you can just go look at these pictures to remind yourself that you are good-looking and that your life is fun.
Get Physically Fit
You don't need to achieve a supermodel-like physique. Simple daily exercises to boost your bloodstream every morning will do. You'll feel better, your mood will be more positive, and the more congenial you will be with other people. If you give out positive energy, the more beautiful you become - and the more people will be inclined to return positive vibes to you, too.
Change Your Body Image
If there's something in your body that you dislike, find out what's causing you to smirk at it. Chances are, the reasons are very shallow and superficial. The realization of this will help you attain a better self-image and teach you to appreciate yourself more.
Treat Yourself
Set aside time once a week to do something just for you. It could be anything from watching a cheesy movie to walking your dog in the park. As long as it's time for you in doing what you want to do.
Wear Nice Underwear
This sounds silly, but it works! Wearing really cute knickers does make you feel better and a lot more confident about facing others. Don't believe this? Try it!
List Your Good Points
Without looking at the mirror, make a list of all the things you appreciate and like about your body - things like, "I have great hair" or "I have a nice set of teeth". Keep this list in your wallet or wherever you can see them and whenever you feel terrible, just take out this list and read it to yourself.
Travel
Ask a few of your best pals to spend a day out of town with you. Pack a delicious snack and spend the day fishing or hiking, or whatever suits your interests. A day in the fresh air is sure to give you an energy boost and make you feel good about yourself.
Get Away From People Who Put You Down
You know these kinds of people. They simply can't stand the fact that you're okay with your life and will always try to dampen your mood. Avoid them at all cost, because they'll never make you feel good about yourself. Learn how to say no to people who only have their self-interest in mind.
Do A Good Deed
Do something good for someone else. You will find that things like volunteering at a homeless shelter or even a simple thing like helping somebody who is lost by giving proper directions will make you feel good for the rest of the day. You'll be doing something worthwhile and when you see how badly off some people are, you'll start to appreciate your life more and be grateful for what you have.
Michael Lee is the author of How to be a Red Hot Persuasion Wizard... in 20 days or less, an ebook that reveals mind-altering persuasion techniques on how to tremendously enhance your relationships, create unlimited wealth, and get anything you want...just like magic. Get a sample chapter and highly-stimulating "Get What You Want" advice at:http://www.20daypersuasion.com. He is the Co-Founder of http://www.self-improvement-millionaires.com and is licensed as a Certified Public Accountant.source:http://www.self-esteem-guide.com/Self-EsteemBoosterTenWaysToLoveYourself.html
Your Future is Determined by Your Actions Today!
By Grant Cardone
What you do today, not yesterday, is what will determine how you live your life tomorrow. Its unfortunate that so many people spend time regretting yesterday, stewing over it, planning their life around it when it’s over, gone, finished! Yesterday in no way can impact tomorrow. "Yesterdays" only ruin your ability to create a tomorrow.
Consider your marriage: For a marriage to prosper you have to keep your attention on creating the future. Things like: dates dinners, plans, vacations, new adventures, mutual goals and projects are what will ensure its future. The marriage will not survive on the love of yesterday, but only on what is created in the future.
Take your business. Let's say you want to build your customer base and haven't been doing that for some years. The only thing that matters now is that you envision how you want your future to look and then take the actions necessary today in building it! No reason to spend time on yesterday, as yesterday is only filled with regrets, remorse, guilt, etc. Only your actions of today will impact and ensure your future! The next thing you do or don't do is what will create the future for you! Taking any action to build your client base is better than none at all. And the more action you take, the more your future will look like you want it to.
This is why newspapers can be so damaging for people to read! They are often focused on yesterdays not tomorrows. Your future is a summation of your actions today, not what you did or did not do yesterday!
Yes, you can learn from the past, but what you do today, not yesterday, is the only thing that will determine your success tomorrow! You can learn where you picked up the nail that gave you a flat; which would be good to know so that you avoid that spot of the road in the future, but right now, I suggest you change the tire as quickly as possible, be thankful you didn't have an accident and get on with your trip! Put your attention on where you are going, not on the nails of the past, and step on the gas pedal of action!
Anytime things get a little slow for me, there are the five steps I take to make sure my future shows up the way I want it to. Grab a pen and paper and do this NOW!
Put attention on and write down what you want your whole future to look like Put your attention on and write down what you want certain areas of your life to look like, for example, name out a specific project Do ONLY those actions necessary to create that future. Do those actions in massive proportions. Find other resources, friends, family, or employees to help you promote and continue those actions! Forget yesterday; forget five seconds ago, and take action right now on your future!
http://www.apsendstudio.com/display.php?List=4&N=195
What you do today, not yesterday, is what will determine how you live your life tomorrow. Its unfortunate that so many people spend time regretting yesterday, stewing over it, planning their life around it when it’s over, gone, finished! Yesterday in no way can impact tomorrow. "Yesterdays" only ruin your ability to create a tomorrow.
Consider your marriage: For a marriage to prosper you have to keep your attention on creating the future. Things like: dates dinners, plans, vacations, new adventures, mutual goals and projects are what will ensure its future. The marriage will not survive on the love of yesterday, but only on what is created in the future.
Take your business. Let's say you want to build your customer base and haven't been doing that for some years. The only thing that matters now is that you envision how you want your future to look and then take the actions necessary today in building it! No reason to spend time on yesterday, as yesterday is only filled with regrets, remorse, guilt, etc. Only your actions of today will impact and ensure your future! The next thing you do or don't do is what will create the future for you! Taking any action to build your client base is better than none at all. And the more action you take, the more your future will look like you want it to.
This is why newspapers can be so damaging for people to read! They are often focused on yesterdays not tomorrows. Your future is a summation of your actions today, not what you did or did not do yesterday!
Yes, you can learn from the past, but what you do today, not yesterday, is the only thing that will determine your success tomorrow! You can learn where you picked up the nail that gave you a flat; which would be good to know so that you avoid that spot of the road in the future, but right now, I suggest you change the tire as quickly as possible, be thankful you didn't have an accident and get on with your trip! Put your attention on where you are going, not on the nails of the past, and step on the gas pedal of action!
Anytime things get a little slow for me, there are the five steps I take to make sure my future shows up the way I want it to. Grab a pen and paper and do this NOW!
Put attention on and write down what you want your whole future to look like Put your attention on and write down what you want certain areas of your life to look like, for example, name out a specific project Do ONLY those actions necessary to create that future. Do those actions in massive proportions. Find other resources, friends, family, or employees to help you promote and continue those actions! Forget yesterday; forget five seconds ago, and take action right now on your future!
http://www.apsendstudio.com/display.php?List=4&N=195
Discipline Yourself to Success
by: Iain Legg
Source: http://www.articlealley.com/article_490016_24.html
When working toward goals or striving for success in any endeavor, self-discipline is one vital quality you need to have. Most of us cringe at the thought because it brings to mind instant visions of sacrifice, difficulty and strain.
However, discipline doesn’t have to be so hard. The problem occurs when you try to go from having no self-discipline to forcing yourself to undertake a heavy load of responsibility. Talk about pressure!
Below are three easy ways to become more disciplined with a minimum of discomfort:
1) First, change your attitude about discipline. One reason you may not be disciplined is because you think the activities or chores you need to do will be unpleasant in some way. The most common reaction to thoughts like that is to put the activities aside or avoid them until you feel ready to handle them.
Instead, pump yourself up and get motivated to get them done as soon as possible! Look forward to the challenge and keep affirming how great you’ll feel when you’re finished. Focus on the sense of personal accomplishment you’ll gain with every task and you’ll be much more likely to stick to your plans.
2) Make self-discipline a gradual process. Rather than trying to force yourself into submission with a big list of tasks or activities, go a little easier on yourself to start.
Identify one small task or activity that you can use for practice. Make it something fairly easy to accomplish each day, and then make sure you do it. If you have to, post notes of encouragement everywhere or wear an elastic band around your wrist as a reminder. If possible, get this one task out of the way first thing in the morning before you do anything else. Make it your highest priority and it will soon become a solid habit.
Then, begin adding more tasks or activities – or increase the size or frequency of the original task so you’re doing more each day. Little by little, keep increasing it like that and eventually you’ll find that you’re doing the things you set out to do without excuses or procrastination.
3) Commitment. If you’re not fully committed to achieving your goals, you’ll probably have a harder time pushing yourself to work on them. Make a solemn vow to yourself that you will do what it takes to work on your goals every single day. Write a list of important action steps and make it your mission to do one or more of them each day. Re-commit yourself as often as necessary to make sure you stick to your plans.
More than anything else, self-discipline is a favorable result of a series of wise decisions that you make each day. Choose to be disciplined, choose to be successful – and you will be!
Source: http://www.articlealley.com/article_490016_24.html
Fear of Failure: What Does Failure Mean To You?
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
What do you believe about failure?
The ego wounded part of ourselves, the left-brain part of ourselves that has been programmed with many false beliefs, often believes that:
"If I fail, I am a failure."On the other hand, the loving adult part of us - our right brain, open, creative and learning part of us - generally believes that:
"If I fail, I am stupid."
"If I fail, no one will like me or value me."
"If I fail, then there is no point in ever trying again."
"If I fail, it brands me for life as incompetent."
"If I fail, then everyone who thought I was smart will now think I am stupid."
"If I fail, I will have made a fool of myself."
"If I fail, then I just need to work harder, to put in more effort."Which way of thinking prevails within you? What are the consequences to you of allowing yourself to think from your wounded self instead of from your loving adult?
"If I fail, I will have learned valuable lessons that will eventually lead to success."
"Failure is a part of life. No one succeeds without some failure."
"Failure does not at all reflect on my worth as a person. I am intrinsically worthy, regardless of success or failure."
"Failure offers me incredible opportunities to think outside the box, to think creatively. Let's get to work!"
"I love learning and I love challenges. What I do is not about success or failure - it is about the joy of creativity, learning and expressing who I am."
Failure - A Part of Life
The fact is that mistakes and failure ARE a part of life. Instead of fearing them, why not make it okay to make mistakes and to fail? Why not take the onus off of failure? Why not embrace the process of learning and growing instead of only being focused on the outcome of your efforts? Why not focus on enjoying the process of learning and creating something that is important to you?
People who don't worry about success or failure, who instead are excited about their learning and growing process, generally find their way to succeed. The reason for this is that they don't let failure stop them. Instead, failure spurs them on to work harder, to put forth even more effort to learn what they need to learn to succeed.
On the other hand, even very smart people, who are dominated by their ego wounded selves, generally allow failure to derail them. Believing they ARE a failure if they fail, they become too afraid to make more effort. In addition, they often believe that success or failure is not dependent on effort, but on ability. When this is their belief, they often give up at the first sign of failure, fearing that, if their natural intelligence and ability is not leading to success, then there is no point in trying harder.
Creating Success
Every successful person knows that effort, creativity, openness to learning, and perseverance are what create success, not necessarily high intelligence, talent, or ability. Every truly successful person is someone who has not allowed failure to stop him or her from forging ahead with passion and purpose.
I encourage you to tell yourself that it is okay to make mistakes and okay to fail. I encourage you to see mistakes and failures as wonderful learning opportunities for growth. I encourage you to let go of the outcome and allow yourself to become fully excited about the process learning, of growth, and of creation. Being fully present and excited for the process is what life is all about!
About Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Ready to join the thousands who have healed their pain and discovered their joy? Learn Inner Bonding now! Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available.
http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/fear-of-failure-what-does-failure-mean-to-you-713213.html
How to Become the Best
Optimism: People who reach the top always believe things can get better, or that there's a better way to do something. They don't believe any action is futile. Not only does optimism help them continue on their ambitious course, it attracts other people's interest and respect.
Vision
: The top achievers have a vision of their desired future. They know what the end results should look like when their goal has been reached, and they won't rest until that vision is a reality. Becoming the best means avoiding the pitfalls of the here and now to create a better future.
Leadership: To become the best, you must expect to lead, and rise to every opportunity to do so. Successful men and women know they're not average followers. They always equip themselves with the skills they need to command, and when the time comes, they lead others to achieve success.
Legacy: While they enjoy the rewards of achievement, successful leaders don't merely strive for themselves. They strive for goals that benefit others: family, friends, charities, and communities. They choose to leave a legacy that will make the world a better place.
Helpfulness: The best help other people reach their goals and dreams. True leaders understand that all people are connected: the good they put out into the world will someday benefit them, directly or indirectly. They know that success does not come to someone who stands alone.
No Excuses: No one is perfect, and even the most successful will fail along the way. But when they do fail, outstanding individuals take responsibility for their actions and move on from defeat. Only repeated actions determine character. Becoming the best means only expecting results.
Making Failure an Ally: The best never see failure as an enemy: it is an ally. They consider such losses a learning experience, and recognize that every failure brings them closer to success.
Most people live by default, settling for a mediocre life in which they see themselves as victims of circumstance. The best live actively—they envision a better life and take the necessary action to achieve their dreams. And so can you!
About Author
Mario is the creator of the ebook and audio Millionaire Mindset Success Series. Click here to receive over 50% off.
http://www.articlesbase.com/self-improvement-articles/how-to-become-the-best-731865.html
HOW TO AVOID STRESS!
1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that
will
compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too
many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over
time;
don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out
what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do
anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary
purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key
buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent
an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a Quraan with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19. Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of
life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
Eight Keys to Happiness
I visit my mother in a nursing home several days a week. Each time I leave I am grateful for being able to walk into the bright sunshine on my own two legs. There are so many things to be thankful for in my life – among them good health, my skills and abilities and caring relationships. I find that stopping to appreciate what I have helps me to stay positive and has a direct impact on how happy I feel.
A recent global survey published in USA Today indicates that the biggest happiness driver is not wealth, fame or even good looks. Participants in
I know that having everything handed to me would NOT make me happy. I need a certain amount of challenge and to feel that I am capable. I also must be free to make choices in my life, feel connected to others and do work that reflects who I am. While some people are genetically predisposed to being cheerful or depressed, I believe that our attitude can make an enormous difference.
During the last ten years, in my work on self-development I came up with a number of ways to increase my level of happiness. I later found that they worked equally well for others.
Here then are what I call my "eight keys to happiness." I practice them in my daily life and, as a life coach, share these keys with clients. They can work for you, too.
1. Be positive
Are you overwhelmed by a sense of dread every time you try something new? Happy people focus on what is possible rather than dwell on the chances for failure. They look at the lighter side and find humour even in sticky situations.
This also applies to inner judgments. Many of us are self-critical when we need to practice a little kindness towards ourselves. Observe your own thoughts – what do you tell yourself about how you are handling things? Maybe you did make a mistake, but you were exhausted.
2. Give yourself credit
Do you complete one project only to rush on to the next? Similarly you may meet challenges of a more personal nature, such as having a difficult conversation with a family member, without acknowledging your own effort. It's important to absorb the satisfaction from your achievements. I have a Victory Log to record all my successes, whenever I do something that's a stretch for me. I recommend that you start one as well. When you review it later, you'll be inspired by what you have done.
3. See the learning
When I am in a trying situation, I ask what I could be learning from it. For instance, looking after a parent with Alzheimer's forced me to develop my own strength and resourcefulness.
4. Find a way to contribute
Some people believe the world owes them – that they are entitled to "the good life" and all its benefits. They become bitter when setbacks occur and tangible rewards stay out of reach.
We need to ask ourselves – what can I offer others? What can I contribute to my family, my community or the world at large that is in line with my skills and abilities? I love this quote by Sarah Bernhardt, a flamboyant French actress in the late 1800s, "It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich."
5. Recognize and act on your values
Recognizing our life values, determining how we want to achieve them and taking steps to act on them is self-empowering. When you realize that you are doing what is most important to you, your happiness level shoots right up. For example, I used to wonder why I was still single until I saw that independence and personal growth are two of my top values. Realizing this helped me to more fully accept where I was.
6. Focus on what you WANT – and take steps towards it
No one likes feeling stuck. It is important to know what you really want and then take some action towards it. Even if progress is slow, you will FEEL better going in the right direction.
7. Allow yourself to dream
Hope is critical to our happiness, yet we often crush our own dreams for fear of being disappointed. Allow yourself to dream! Tapping into the power of your imagination will take you to a happier place and with time, you can make some of your dreams come true.
8. Enjoy life's small pleasures
No matter how stressed you are, take a break from your routine to admire the sunset or share coffee with a friend. It is the moments which make us happiest - yet how many of them slip by unnoticed?
This morning I cycled on a path along the
About Author
Thelma Mariano, life coach and author, is dedicated to bringing clarity and direction to people's lives. See her on-line coaching programs, articles and column at http://www.u-unlimited.ca.
Eight Baby Steps To Knowing Your "Self"
Written by: Kimberly Fulcher
Who are you? What do you stand for? What do you believe in? What engages your passion? What brings tears of gratitude and joy to your eyes? Do you know, or have you lost yourself ? In my work as a professional coach, I've helped many people rediscover themselves. The first step on the road to rediscovery involves spending time with you, which is why I liken the process to dating yourself.
When you began dating your last partner or the person you share your life with, didn't you
move heaven and earth to make time for them? When you were with them, didn't you go out of your way to get to know them? What if you were to take a similar approach to rediscovering yourself? Here are some "baby steps" you can take to get reacquainted with yourself.
Journal
Writing your thoughts on paper can be profound. The process of journaling can support you in learning about what you're afraid of, what you're passionate about, and what you aspire to.
Buy yourself a beautiful notebook, and a pen you enjoy writing with. Find 20 quiet minutes in your day, and steal away to a comfortable place in your home. Begin your process by writing as if you were talking with yourself. Write about how you're feeling, what's bothering or exciting you, or the day ahead of you, or answer questions from books or personal development programs you've been reading.
Remember that your journal can be messy and illegible. It's for your eyes only, and doesn't need to be presentable. Enjoy the process of establishing a connection with you through the written word.
Meditate
Meditation is not about attaining a state of emptiness while sitting in the lotus position. It's about observing yourself in the present moment. Find 10 quiet moments in your day, and sit comfortably. Your goal should be to "empty" yourself of any anxiety or worry. Focus on your breath, and allow the thoughts that enter your mind to be there. Acknowledge them, but don't focus on understanding what they mean, or solving any problems. Just allow yourself to be still.
Move
There are numerous studies documenting the physical and emotional benefits of moving your body. Exercise can be a meditation in and of itself. If you're the type of person who has a really hard time slowing down, this may be a great way for you to begin committing to time to be with yourself.
Walk
Walking is a moving mediation. It allows you to slow down, and notice what's going on around you. If you usually move a million miles per hour, walking can allow you to focus on being fully present, while indulging in the movement you find so vital. It can provide you with an opportunity to mull over something that may be on your mind, or simply to notice the beauty and bounty of what surrounds you.
Drive
Though not a common "vehicle" to self discovery, driving can prove to be an interesting process, especially if it's difficult to find a quiet place in your home. Fill your tape or cd changer with your favorite music, and hit the road to an unknown destination. See where your "self" leads you….
Authentic Outings
A day spent wandering boutiques, a stolen hour in a bookstore, a mid-afternoon matinee, a journaling session in a coffee shop, or an afternoon being pampered at your favorite spa. These are authentic outings, and indulging in activities like these is similar to dating yourself. This is where you take time to be with you, with no purpose in mind other than sheer enjoyment.
Old Hobbies
What did you love to do when you were a small child? Did you scrapbook? Did you take dance classes, or write short stories? The authenticity of childhood interests cannot be denied. Revisit the things you used to love to do as a kid. You will be amazed at the passion within you, just waiting to be rediscovered.
New Interests
Investigate and research things you find intriguing. Do you have a friend who spends her time in ways that you envy or admire? Did you used to dream about being great at something? Did you used to wish for your family to support you in the pursuit of a special talent or interest? Give yourself the permission and the support to explore it now. Who knows where this new path could lead?
The approach you take is not important. The fact that you make the time to reconnect with yourself is. Try a little of each approach, and see what works for you. Have fun, and continually explore!
Your Most Important Appointment
Provided by: Maria GraciaAn appointment is simply a mutual agreement to meet with someone at a specific time. You set appointments with doctors, dentists, lawyers, accountants, contractors and hair stylists, just to name a few. Usually, appointments that are set actually take place. Even when you do have to cancel an appointment, you usually re-schedule it and place the date and time on your calendar. There's one person, though, that you might frequently forget to set up an appointment with. That person is YOU. The reason that many of us can't seem to find time to enjoy ourselves, read something of interest, exercise or watch a favorite television program is that we don't schedule a definite date and time to do so. You are too important to put the things you love to do on the backburner. Why not schedule an appointment with yourself and write it on your calendar. When the time comes, keep the appointment, just as you would any other. You'll find that you'll be able to start doing the things you love to do because you'll have a specific time slot on your calendar prepared to give you that time
Your Best Possible Life
by Kathy Gates,
Professional Life Coach
How do you define happiness? Is it a beach cabin
in
want to do? Is it having a good relationship with a
special someone?
Happiness is indeed an individual definition. For
our purposes, let's agree that it would mean a life
that's working and comfortable in several different
areas: Time, Environment, Work, Thoughts, and
Relationships.
Every day, you are given a day to use any way you
choose. You choose how you make your living,
who you spend time with, what you think about,
read, or listen to. You choose where you shop,
what internet sites you visit, and what you learn.
You choose what TV shows you watch, how your
furniture is placed, what color your walls are. You
choose how much how much you smile, what you
wear, and what you eat. Are your choices
contributing to your best possible life?
1. TIME: How do you spend your time? Is it
wasted time, or refreshing time? Does it take your
toward your goals, or away from them? Are you
consciously spending time, or just letting it happen?
Does the way you spend your time reflect what you
say is important to you? What you do today is
important because you're exchanging a day of your
life for it. Write down how you spend your days,
your week. Include sleep time, grooming time,
wasted time, relaxing time, work time, etc. Be as
specific as you can. You'll quickly see if you're
spending your time where you WANT to spend it or
not, or if time is passing you by.
2. ENVIRONMENT: What is no longer working
for you in your space? Are there broken appliances
or outdated equipment? Are there unfinished
projects that were important at one time, but no
longer intrigue you? When you look around, does
your environment make you feel good? Make you
smile? Research shows that your environment has a
big impact on the way you feel. Color and lighting
can improve your mood. Changing the direction
your desk faces can give you a different
perspective. Make some small but dramatic
changes. Add color to your walls with some
paintings. Try a fresh coat of paint. Use things that
make you smile.
3. WORK: Do you feel fulfilled and happy about
your work, whether that's a domestic engineer or a
CEO? Or do you dread doing the work, and just
count the minutes until time off? We've all been
overly influenced by shoulds, oughtas and have-to's.
So much so that what you want truly want in life,
what would truly make you happy, may be
suppressed WAY down deep. Remember things
that you enjoyed as a child or young adult, and ask
yourself why you don't do them anymore. Ask
yourself if you had 1 minute with all the world's
attention, what message would like to give them.
These clues help you know what your purpose is in
life, and what would make you feel most proud,
happy, and fulfilled.
4. THOUGHTS/SELF TALK: Do you talk to
yourself like your best friend, acknowledging the
wrongs, but supporting change? Or do you talk to
yourself like the neighbor your despise? Do your
thoughts inspire and motivate you, or hold you back
from your best self? As scary as this thought
(pardon the pun) may be, you are living right now
what you thin. Everything begins with your
thoughts. You have direct control over how you act
and what you think (feelings and physiology are
indirectly affected). Feeling better begins with
controlling your thoughts.
5. RELATIONSHIPS: Do the people in your life
support you and your goals? Are you proud to
introduce them to others? Do you learn from them?
As you've probably noticed, you don't live in a
vacuum - whatever you do affects other people, and
what they do affects you. While you absolutely
cannot change other people, you CAN set up your
life so that the people closest to you provide support
and encouragement. Build reciprocal, healthy
relationships, such as working with other people
who want the same changes that you do, or who you
can support in their own activities. Seek them out.
They're looking for you too.
Celebrate the Small Stuff
Colleen Langenfeld
Everyday it's the same old thing...rise and shine, get
the kids ready, shoo everyone out the door, go to work
(whether it's in your own home or at an office). Then at
the end of the day, finish one job...to work some more!
And then you get to look forward to doing it all over
again! Yes, yes, you love your work (you DO love your
work, don't you?), you are blessed with wonderful children
and your marriage is happy. Life is good! Then why do you
feel so...blah?
Those everyday-moments are also the everyday-routine. The
trick to making them MOMENTS instead of ROUTINE is
gratitude. When we are grateful for the people and events
around us, we are able to see the glass half full, not
half empty. Moreover, our feelings will begin to swing
into line as well.
One fun way to practice gratitude on a daily basis is to
celebrate those little daily chores. If you have children,
have you ever developed some sort of reward system to
encourage a particular behavior? Kids are not the only
ones who like to be praised! A well-thought out reward
system for adults can produce amazing results and lift
spirits, as well.
Let's put this in concrete terms:
*The morning rush. Yes, everyone knows they should get
their stuff ready the night before. But what is the
incentive for doing so? Nagging? If that's not working
for you, consider sweetening the pot with an appropriate
reward. A favorite meal? An evening of board games? A
sleepover with a friend? Don't forget about the adults.
A new CD might be nice. A walk in the park - or maybe
some time alone. An extra lunch-out in this month's
budget. Of course, a smoother-running household is the
best reward of all. However, celebrating calls for
special attention.
*Why do we reward elementary-age children with
certificates and prizes for perfect attendance? Isn't
it just as amazing (even more so, when you think about
it) when an adult who's juggling multiple
responsibilities doggedly gets to work on time five days
a week, month after month after year after year? Dad or
Mom will probably never ask for balloons and their
favorite meal just for "doing their job" but you can bet
they will not soon forget the gesture.
*I have a friend who throws parties all the time! For a
long while, I could not figure out why. Then it dawned
on me; she CHOOSES to celebrate. And every couple of
weeks or so, she invites friends to celebrate WITH her!
As life's inevitable ups and downs have come along, this
woman is always surrounded by her friends, for whom she
has hosted a myriad of good times. Not a bad place to be.
*What do our children think about the notion of
celebrating and gifts? Is that reserved for special
occasions? And just what constitutes 'special occasions'?
If we are teaching them that life is awesome and they are
wonderful, then the party would be TODAY. In addition,
the gifts would be simple, designed to say "I see you and
I think sharing this day with you is just about the best
it gets". In my mom's words, "pull out the good china and
find the cloth napkins." Wow. Must be a special day!
So while it's easy (and wise) to party over the big events
in our lives, it's just as smart to remind ourselves
through celebrations that life is in the small stuff - and
that's where we live everyday!
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